“Life is a state of endless becoming. It is vital not to forget where we’ve been, to take inventory of all that we currently have, and to envision bigger lives for ourselves.
I WAS — In a society that is forward facing and fast moving, there is value in pausing and looking back. The first phase asks us to rest and reflect. To acknowledge the stages we have survived, the people we have loved, and the losses we have accumulated.
We must make a home for all of our experiences and allow them to take shape. How will we let our past inform us? How will we carry it forward? How will we become bigger than what has hurt us?
I AM — The character sits centered, anchored in the present.
We must take the time to absorb what is happening now without letting life mindlessly pass us by. Pay attention, even to the hard parts.
I WILL BE — Evolution is inevitable. Should we ever feel stuck or trapped, we can seek comfort knowing we exist in a state of flux.
The character exits the frame, envisioning a life beyond what the viewer can see.
This piece serves as an homage to process, rather than outcome. Healing happens when we are able to incorporate the full spectrum of our experiences and integrate our collective selves. Instead of keeping parts of us in the dark, we deserve to live wholly and authentically. I hope you will honor every leg of your journey, knowing life is infinitely unfolding.”
Chanel Miller. “I was, I am, I will be” is on view at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco through February 2022.
Ava DuVernay: You understood the dangers of American policing, the criminalization of Black, native, and brown people, 50 years ago. Your activism and your scholarship has always been inclusive of class and race and gender and sexuality. It seems we’re at a critical mass where a majority of people are finally able to hear and to understand the concepts that you’ve been talking about for decades. Is that satisfying or exhausting after all this time?
Angela Davis: I don’t think about it as an experience that I’m having as an individual. I think about it as a collective experience, because I would not have made those arguments or engaged in those kinds of activisms if there were not other people doing it. One of the things that some of us said over and over again is that we’re doing this work. Don’t expect to receive public credit for it. It’s not to be acknowledged that we do this work. We do this work because we want to change the world. If we don’t do the work continuously and passionately, even as it appears as if no one is listening, if we don’t help to create the conditions of possibility for change, then a moment like this will arrive and we can do nothing about it. As Bobby Seale said, we will not be able to “seize the time.” This is a perfect example of our being able to seize this moment and turn it into something that’s radical and transformative.
Excerpted from Audre Lorde’s paper “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action,” originally delivered at the Lesbian and Literature panel of the Modern Language Association’s December 28, 1977 meeting. First published in Sinister Wisdom 6 and The Cancer Journals.
Recently, I led a discussion on intersectional issues of abuse including systemic issues of sexism and rape culture, and ended with encouraging my support group leadership, participants, and loved ones to confront, disrupt, and eradicate these issues with a goal of helping establish empathic environments free of shame, stigma, and fear in our homes, schools, and workplaces. It was met with cathartic feedback; one survivor’s response hit home. I’m sharing bits and bytes from the presentation here.
It’s accurate to state that the majority of our country is aware of sexism and ignorant to rape culture and its direct linkage to sexism: that everyday rape culture is protected and promulgated in every aspect of our lives through sexist verbiage and policy; the promotion of sexual coercion; lack of bodily autonomy; and disregard for feminine-presenting or gender-nonconforming people. Rape culture can be subtle or overt; often, abusers consciously create situations with subtleties so that when called out, they have a litany of excuses—“gray areas,” they may say—ready to escape culpability.
“There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle, because we do not live single-issue lives.”
All people have the right to engage with their social, academic, and professional spaces free from harmful behavior. Education on how to give and get consent in daily interactions is critically important to creating sustainable culture change. Coercive behavior at home, school, and work can include intimidation, subtle or overt threats, blackmail, dishonesty, and gaslighting, often romanticized. Eventually due to unyielding pressure, the victim may acquiesce, sustaining the false notion of a mutual agreement.
A person’s ability to consent is influenced by the interplay of power, identity, and privilege. In using coercion, an abuser in a position of power—perceived or actual—leverages that power to achieve their desired outcome which can include subjugation, humiliation, and sexual control. An abuser with power and privilege is responsible for not putting a person in a position where they are expected to say yes. Rape culture normalizes the belief that a yes achieved through coercion is sufficient consent, allowing for collective disregard of a victim’s personhood and value.
Example 1:
Abuser creates false sense of safety for victim; abuser intimidates victim with falsehoods that victim will later debunk; abuser silences victim with threats; abuser subtly and overtly abuses victim with others’ knowledge; victim calls out abuser for abuse and debunked falsehoods; abuser gaslights victim with discriminatory verbiage; victim struggles with debilitating anxiety and depression.
When victim discloses details to their support system, half of said support system responds with: “He denied it” and “Don’t think about it.”
Example 2:
On June 10, 2019, the Washington Post reported, “President Trump’s pitter-patter of exaggerated numbers, unwarranted boasting and outright falsehoods has continued at a remarkable pace. As of June 7, his 869th day in office, the president has made 10,796 false or misleading claims.”
Often when victims share their abuse—whether in pieces and on their time or full force and immediately—they are labeled and further shamed and stigmatized. When victims are advised to trivialize, divert, and ignore their abuse, they are further intimidated and silenced. Society is infinitely creative in dismissing victims’ abuse, particularly the experiences of victims whose identities are on the margins of mainstream culture. As such, a victim—survivor—who has experienced abuse, and whose identity is on the margins of mainstream culture, is more likely to face additional barriers to disclosing, reporting, seeking lifesaving care, and justice.
So how do we move forward? First, institutions and the justice system must stop protecting and perpetuating victim blaming and gender inequity, including hegemonic masculinity and patriarchy. All of this is part of rape culture. Victims must be empowered with the support that they need to survive and thrive; as such, they should be viewed as survivors. We must remember that credibility is a basic survival tool,and that survivors speaking up is courageous. Speaking up often comes at a price, whether at the expense of a survivor’s reputation, education, career, and/or health. We must work to confront, disrupt, and eradicate that expense.
Parents, leadership in schools and workplaces, and policy makers must teach and communicate prevention, engagement, and outreach regarding gender equity, violence prevention, and trauma. This is critically important to developing concrete strategies grounded in theoretical framework.
Finally, it is utmost important that survivors are supported. Responding to a survivor’s disclosure with compassion, validation, and support is critically important for a survivor healing from abuse and trauma. Supporting survivors confronts pervasive attitudes that cast doubts on survivors who come forward; as such, support is integral to preventing future incidents of abuse. Validation and support sends a message to society that these types of abusive behavior are harmful and must have consequences.
Survivor healing and abuser accountability are both utmost important to survivors finding closure and emerging with growth and resilience. Often, a survivor cannot move onward without it.
